June 9

Well, it's June 9 - the year is nearly 1/2 over - I'm still living in the hotel (at least 5 days a week) and it's forecasted to hit 99 today. Oh yeah, it's also my birthday.

I swore off birthdays a few years ago after several very poor birthday experiences. When I turned 40 I decided to go away for my birthday - that year I traveled to Toronto. I took myself out shopping and splurged at my favorite store up there buying myself some very nice stuff that I still wear today (you only turn 40 once!). The following year I had planned to travel to San Francisco for a week, but those plans were changed when I was asked to produce an event in Philadelphia - the only days that worked to have the event were June 9 & 10 - so my 41st birthday was spent in Philadelphia. Last year I returned to Canada but this time visited Ottawa and was able to have some great quality time with a friend up there. The usual routine is to spend the day by myself, have a really nice dinner then go out and if friends are out great - if not then it just goes with the rest of the day. This year I had made plans to spend my birthday in Atlanta at the Ritz Carlton - but some problems that popped up here at work have made me change those plans and I will stay here in Charlotte, but at a different hotel so I can have a change of scenery. I still plan to go out for a nice dinner, a couple of martini's and then see where it goes from there.

I've never been a fan of others calling the shots for me - those that know me are probably laughing because I also hate to make decisions. I had about five bad birthdays leading up to my 40th and that is why I decided to start taking my birthday on the road. I just consider age a number anyway - it doesn't mean a person is mature if they have a high number attached, it's all a state of mind. For that reason, it's not a big deal to celebrate a birthday for me. Yes, it's nice to get cards and a phone call wishing me a happy birthday - that people remember, but I don't like parties - I don't like being the center of attention. I usually don't even mention to people that it is my birthday - not wanting people to feel obligated to do something special or feel bad if they didn't. My reasons for this? It goes way back - I remember one birthday back in Bogota when my sister-in-law stopped by and didn't even remember it was my birthday. I wasn't saying anything, didn't want to make a big deal about it - but she found out and felt very, very bad about it. I felt worse that she felt bad, than her not remembering my birthday.

The final several years of my last relationship (years 7-11 probably) were not fun birthdays. Gifts that had no meaning or were just embarassing - half hearted attempts at making a celebration. My favorite was the birthday when I was driving back to Bergen County from the shore (just after we bought the deli) and for about 2o or 30 miles along the GS Parkway a person was hanging out the window of the car in front of me throwing up and it was splattering all over my car. It was lovely - a hot June Sunday afternoon in traffic on the GS Parkway and no way to get from behind that car. So I spent that night washing my car at the self carwash - the spouse down the shore and me at home.

So this year's plans had to be dashed - alternate plans made. Had to work a double shift (7am - 11pm) on both Saturday and Sunday. Get done last night with work, come to my room and log on. Get a great birthday wish from my best buddy in Texas. We start to chat and then after a comment that was meant in a joking manner he abruptly says good night and logs off. Then at 11:59 I recieve a text message calling me out for the comment I made after he was trying to make my birthday special. I sent an apology - no reply.

And so my cursed birthdays continue . . .

A note for next year for anyone who is reading this blog -- no cards, no gifts, no dinners on June 9th. If you want to call and say, "Hi, was thinking about you today and happy birthday" - that's great - but otherwise, just let this day be like any other on the calendar. I'm tired of it causing people harm. It's 10:20 am and I need to get out of bed, shower, check-out of the hotel and head off to spend my birthday doing laundry - just like any other day off.

Thank you for reading -